Recycle political jokes for election(1) 循环再用政治笑话数则 (1)

Posted On 25/02/2008

Filed under Funs, Jokes

Comments Dropped one response

Parachute
During the general election, Badawi bring Najib, secretary, his cooks and his cooks grandson fly to Sabah to campaign for the election. On his way home, before it reach KLIA, the plane broke down. The pilot report,”This is an emergency, we must parachute now”, the pilot escape with his own parachute.

The plane left with 4 parachutes. Najib took one parachute and slowly pass to Badawi, “You are the next premier, to safeguard interest of country, please take you leap”. Badawi hesitate.

During Badawi hesitation, Najib took the parachute for himself and jump. Before Badawi shout for angriness, his secretary quickly took another parachute and escape. Due to the urgency, Badawi took the third parachute and jump.

The cooks speak to his grandson, “I am old, just took the last parachute and escape for your life”. The cooks grandson answer,”Don’t worry grandpa, there is enough parachute for two of us us”. The cooks reply, “There is only 4 parachutes, since 3 of them jump, there is not enough parachute for two of us”.

The cook grandson speak in calm,”Badawi took my school bag.”

—————–

I know who you are
Pavarotti ,Maradona ,Badawi reach the Pearly gate, St. Peter say, “I need you to prove your identity before I let you pass this gate”.

Pavarotti say,” I am Pavarotti”, and sung “O Sole Mio”, St.Peter delighted,”O Sole Mio, you are Pavarotti, you may pass”.

Maradona say,”I am Maradona”. He took a ball, point to a windows 30 meters away, kick the ball and the ball fly right into the windows.

St. Peter say,”Bull’s eye, you may pass”.

It is Badawi turn, and he can’t think of anything. At last, with a blushing face he told St. Peter, “I am Badawi, but I don’t know anything and have nothing to show.”.

St. Peter check the heaven record book and node his head,”Indeed, you are Badawi himself”.

—————–

Poison by Barisan Nasional milk
Once upon a time, Badawi and Najib study in the same secondary school.

One day, the teacher told the class, “Tomorrow, the Prime minister going to visit us, he will ask two question. The first question,”Who did you loyal to”

The teacher finger point to Najib who sit on the first row, “You should answer him, Barisan Nasional , we all fed by Barisan Nasional milk.”

“The second question, who are our enemy” The teacher point to Badawi sit on the second row, “Then you answer, DAP, PAS and the separatist Lee Kuan Yew”.

The same night, Najib get food poisoning and send to hospital.

In the second day, the Prime Minister visit the school, noted the empty first row and ask Badawi, who sit in the second row,”Young man, who did you loyal to”

Badawi answer, “DAP, PAS and the separatist Lee Kuan Yew”.

The teacher quickly hint Badawi, “Barisan Nasional, Barisan Nasional milk…..”

Badawi answer, “Those who drink Barisan Nasional milk got food poisoning, now he is in the ICU”.

—————–

Do you know me?
Badawi visit a mental hospital. He ask a patient whether he knew who is him. The patient shake his head. Badawi shout, “I am Badawi, the ex-ambassador of Peru for Malaysia, now I am the Prime minister of Malaysia. Do you know Mahathir? I am the current Prime Minister and extent my post next term”. The patient smile and answer, “Well, when I came in here, I speak the same thing.”

—————–

巴达维带著副首那吉,秘书,厨师以及厨师的孙子出访归来, 飞机已近吉隆坡,不巧意外发生了。飞行员告知所有的引擎均停止工作,必须紧急跳伞.说完后自己先跳了。

这时候飞机上尚有四把伞.只见那吉取下一把,对 巴达维说到:首相,您的安危关系到中国的未来,请先跳吧。乘巴达维一迟疑,那吉自己先跳了。 巴达维大怒,不想秘书手疾眼快,抢了一把伞也跳了.巴达维 情急之下,二话没说拿了 一把伞也跳了。 厨师长叹一声:孩子啊,爷爷老了,无所谓了,你还年轻,快拿最后一把伞跳吧!孙子道:爷爷,还有两把伞,我们一起跳吧.爷爷苦笑:一共就四把伞, 他们三都跳了,哪还有两把?孙子大叫:巴达维抱著我的多用途书包跳下去了。

—————–

帕瓦罗蒂,马拉多纳,巴达维三人一起过天堂。 天堂守门的圣彼得问道:
“你们能用什么方法证明自己的身份吗?”

帕瓦罗蒂说:“我是帕瓦罗蒂。”说完引吭高歌一曲《我的太阳》。圣彼得拍手说:
“不错,你就是帕瓦罗蒂。”

马拉多纳说:“我是马拉多纳。”说完取出一只足球,用手一指30米外的一扇窗户,飞起一脚,脚起球落,正好从窗口穿出。圣彼得高兴的说道:“不错,你就是马拉多纳。”

轮到巴达维了,巴达维憋了半天,最后还是只好涨红了脸说:“我,我是巴达维,可是,我什么也不会。”天堂守门员想了一想,点点头说:“不错,你就是巴达维。”

—————–

巴达维和那吉一起上中学。

一天,老师说:“明天首相会来参观我们学校,他会提两个问题。第一个问题是,你们忠于谁?”
老师指着坐在第一个位子上的那吉,“你就说,巫统,我们都是喝巫统的奶长大的。”
“第二个问题是,你们反对谁?”老师指着坐在第二个位子上的巴达维,“你就说,李光耀,民主行动党和回教党。”

当天晚上,那吉食物中毒,被送进医院去了。

第二天,首相来参观学校,看第一个坐位空着,就问坐在第二个位子上的巴达维:“同学,你们忠于谁呀?”
巴达维大声地回答:“李光耀,民主行动党和回教党。”

老师慌了,急忙提醒:“国阵,国阵的奶——-”
巴达维说“喝国阵的奶的那个人中毒了,现在还在医院里呢!”

—————–

 巴达维到一所精神病院里去视察,他询问一位病人是否认识他是谁?那病人摇摇头。于是,巴达维大声地说:我是巴达维啊,先干了五年的大使,现在又当上了首相,你知道马哈帝尔吗,我是首相巴达维呀!那病人就微微地笑着说:是啊,是啊,我们刚进来时,也这么说!

One Response to “Recycle political jokes for election(1) 循环再用政治笑话数则 (1)”

  1. ylchong

    puerh luver and cafe king:

    Can I steal your Chinoserie jokes — I am trying to convert some banana chino to at least half-yellar!:) — Desi

    moo_t : Just go ahead and take it, I copy it from somewhere and just replace the main character😉

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s